The cards keep rolling in. And yes, Daniel has still given me a card every day since August 8 (D-day). I'm beginning to worry about the supply for others at the local Dollar Tree. I'm starting to see weird cards now, too, with nods to strange holidays I've never heard of, like "Happy Sweetest Day." (Look it up, Midwesterners! Daniel assures me it's a real thing, and I bet you haven't reaped its benefits yet!)
The cards (and calls, and hugs and emails) remind me how wonderful friends can be. So many people have wished us peace, hope, and health that I have lost track. It also helps that I have a whole posse of friends at churches all over town because of my work at the community center. God's getting prayers from all sorts of denominations! (Here's a heartfelt shout-out to all my Methodist, Baptist, Episcopalian, Catholic, UCC, Presbyterian, CC and AME friends. I really love you all and feel blessed to be a part of your lives.) I literally feel buoyed up by all the prayers and thoughts of healing.
The second huge group of people I want to acknowledge are the breast cancer survivors (including current patients -- you are called a survivor from the first day of your diagnosis). They feel like a cloud of witnesses around me. I've had many women come up to me and tell me their story. There are unfortunately, lots of us. ("We are legion," said one survivor.) It helps to hear from past patients, because they are familiar with the current struggle, but they also know the hope at the other side. It helps to talk with current patients, because they understand the fear and the need for grit and determination.
It has also helped me to hear the choices women have made in their course of treatment. While each cancer is very specific and treatment methods are standardized according to your cancer markers, there are still some big decisions left in the lap of the patient -- especially the lumpectomy vs. mastectomy choice. I needed to hear all the stories in order to make a decision for myself. One wonderful church member and past survivor told me this past week, "You're hearing a lot of stuff right now, which is good, but you'll have to tune it out at some point and do what's best for you."
And it is very true. It's like when I made my decision to breast feed or not. Remember that, ladies who are mothers? Remember all those experts telling you what was best or better or downright mandatory? It was supremely stressful! (At least the first baby -- by the second, I got my act together and did what I knew was best for me and my family, and I didn't look back. I did breast and bottle, by the way -- but it didn't help the ol' cancer risk!)
After hearing all the stories, and after consultation with my doctors, I feel certain in my decision to have a lumpectomy. Other women with the very same cancer and very same circumstances would choose a mastectomy. There is no wrong decision. It is a matter of what is right for you. I am educated about the risk of local recurrence (down to the percentage point, thank you!), and I am aware that distant recurrence is equal with both. Most importantly, I feel that I can emotionally and mentally handle the stress of surveillance after treatment and (God forbid) a recurrence should it happen. The benefits of returning to my family as quickly as possible and preserving an otherwise well-behaved bosom are my top considerations.
(Of course, if Lucille returns later, they're both getting a major smackdown.)
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